I'm Side Tracking Way Too Much

I'm actually feeling guilty about leaving my blog unattended even though for only just 1 day. Its like some part of me is missing and I don't even know where to find it back.

And I realized that my blog has becoming more of a tool to attract readers rather than being myself and write about what I wanna write, its has become more and more .... fake!? Un-Cindyish!?

I remember the 1st few months of starting my blog where readership is low and I haven't got any advertising up, I wrote what I want without thinking too much of whether this topic would attract more readers. That kinda feeling is like writing in a diary with so much freedom and certainly did soothe my distress/angry/depressing emotions within me.

I really can't remember what are the purpose of my writing. Its like I'm writing for someone else, not for myself.

I'm starting to hate my blog now. I don't like the fancy layout, I don't like the over-crowded applications, I don't like the mis-matched colours of the applications and the layout, I don't like the randomness of my posts, I don't like the lack of useful information on my layout, I don't like how I change HOPC into something that isn't representing Cindy's daily life and musings.

I know, some of you may think "Aiyo, since you hate it so much just close down the blog lah!"

I can't do that, to be honest, blogging has become like somewhat of a activity that I must do at least once for a couple of days or I'll die of typing CLIS (Cindy's life is shit/shitty/sucks)

So the solution??

I think I would give my blog a make over.

No more fancy layout or worthless post that I don't even see the point of posting. No more overloading of applications. Big ass pictures that eliminate the need to squint my eyes. More effort in posting be it using more days to post just one post. Out gone the mulitcolours that will make my eyes hurt. No more shitty post labels. And small miniscule word begone.

Just one word. Simplicity.

But I'll definitely keep my huge blog roll which contain more than 60++ bloggers. I dunno how am I gonna do that but I'll try.

And another word. Sincerity.

I need to sleep now. Its already 3am. And currently listening to the songs from Taiwan version of Meteor Garden Soundtrack. Its so soothing that I feel much calmer.

Fav song?? I love you, I honestly love you.

Good night.