July 20, Wednesday
It Would Probably Be Fun To Go On Vacation With Will Ferrell Or Anderson Cooper
By Eliot Glazer
Did you guys notice I was on vacation? Probably not, and that’s okay. I’m dealing with it (“Stand in your own light” — Oprah, 2011).
If you must know, I was in Austin “Hook ‘em horns” Texas, and it was the best. I saw the sights, ate the food, and learned that, unlike New York, nobody is a pu**y when it comes to air conditioning, impossibly trying to prove that they can “beat the heat.” Keep Austin ventilated weird!
As much fun as it was, there are only two other places I would have rather been: San Diego and Colombia, where I’d have visited with Will Ferrell and Anderson Cooper, respectively. Will Ferrell got to pet a 2,000-pound beluga whale named Nanuq at Sea World and Anderson posted a picture of himself on Twitter, shirtless and muddy at El Totumo Mud Volcano in Cartagena.
It’s harder to say which sounds more fun: petting a porcelain white beluga whale or hanging out in the mud with Anderson Cooper. Nope, scratch that: Anderson, definitely.
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